I’m Back!

Wow. 2 years ago tomorrow. That’s how long it’s been since my last post on this blog. Much has happened in that time. I’m no longer homeless. I’ve given up drinking. (Hopefully for good. Not sure though, I’ll never say never). Got my license back and own a mini-van. I now have a small but steady income thanks to Social Security. I’ve also moved out of the state of NJ. That one winter in the streets was enough to convince me that it was time to move to warmer digs. I now live in the south west. I’m sitting in my room right now in clean clothes, with a hot cup of coffee and looking forward to spring.

I’m gonna try and stick it out on this blog from here on out. Try and post something everyday. If anyone ever does read this, “thanks for stopping by!”

I’m looking forward to a new life.


Getting a little better

First, I apologize for not writing sooner. Much has happened in the past few weeks and I wanted to make sure that I would be able to tell you all about it before I started writing and couldn’t finish.

I now have a hotel room provided by the state sponsored one time only, T.R.A. Which stands for Temporary Housing Assistance. What that means is I’m no longer on the streets for the time being. However, it is incumbent on me to find a job and a apartment as quickly as possible. There’s only one problem. I’m disabled and can not work. God knows I want to but my back and legs have been abused for so many years that the pain I’m in is constant and extreme. You see I always did heavy construction work. Mostly with my two bare hands. Swinging a sledgehammer, operating a jackhammer, or just down right carrying very heavy loads on my back to get the job done. You name the construction job type and I’ll bet you I was a helper to that job. You name it, Mason work, carpentry, road work, house painting, vinyl siding.(I was a brake man) Roofing. Both shingle and hot tar.(kettle operator) I’ve had just about every manual labor job there is to be done. Fork lift operator. I unloaded trucks with the fork lift then would stack the materials by hand. Now, that’s all over. I can’t do any of it. What’s even worse is now I can barely walk which is another activity I used to enjoy but can no longer manage.

Anyway, the reason I mention all this is to give you some idea of the catch22 I currently find myself. If I don’t find employment and a apartment in a given time frame, I’m back on the street. However I can’t work so I will most likely wind up back on the street anyway. Not to mention the apartment aspect of all this. Somebody tell me what apartment complex will rent to anyone with no job, no money and no way to guarantee that the rent will get paid each month. BUT and this is a BIG but, I’ve applied for SSD/SSI. IF and ONLY If I am approved, I should be ok. If not well, you know the answer to that and I don’t like to dwell on it so…

I want to thank everyone for sticking around. Don’t worry, there’s lot’s more to come on “this is no life”.
Please comment and let me know if there’s anything you can offer or just to say hi. : )

Still in limbo

December 22, 2013

Hi all. Sorry for not writing sooner. I’ve been working on getting a permanent place to live. Very hard to do this time of year. especially now during the holiday season. I’ve been inside now for about a week in a temporary place. Things are still in the air as to where I’ll be a few weeks from now. Hopefully I’ll still be here but right now it all depends on the mail. I’ll write more later and fill everybody in on the details.

Anyone have a acoustic guitar they would like to donate I would greatly appreciate it.

Small reprieve

Back in the beginning of December I lived in a homeless shelter for a few days. I live in Burlington county NJ. It’s the biggest county in the state and you want to know how many full time dedicated to the homeless shelters there are here? 1(ONE). That’s right ONE shelter that does nothing but take in the homeless for the entire county.
The reason I no longer reside there is because I complained about their bedbug problem. They refused to acknowledge that there IS a problem. I guess the 100’s of bits I got all over my body are a figment of my imagination. So they told me to pack my things and get out. (Their exact words!) Oh didn’t tell you, the shelter is attached to a church that the person who told me to get out attends. A real man of god that guy is. Don’t you think?

Still looking for that acoustic guitar.


Existence is futile!


December 11, 2013

It’s amazing how quickly your entire paradigm changes when you’re faced with

such desperate circumstances.

Just a little over a week ago I would never have thought of panhandling for money.

Now, I feel I’ll wind up dead in the street if I don’t try to get enough money to sleep inside

even if it’s just for one night. Panhandling is a crime in New Jersey. I guess the state just

wants all the homeless to die and get it over with.

I throw down the gauntlet to any politician who thinks they could last a week out here like I

and so many thousands of others are doing right now as I type this. And there are many who

have been out here much, much longer then I have. So think about how they must be feeling right

now. Especially now that Christmas is quickly approaching.

Everybody wants peace, love, happiness and joy. Let’s not think about the freezing cold human beings

living in the streets who won’t be spending Christmas with friends and family.

But wait! Things like that don’t happen in America right? I must be dreaming right? Yeah, I’m dreaming!

A real freaking nightmare!

Do me a favor. Don’t pray for me. It doesn’t do any good if you’re not willing to come and help me. Case in point,

Jesus WENT to the sick, homeless, and destitute. He took ACTION. He DID something about the human condition.

He didn’t ask the sick to come to him. He didn’t open a clinic and tell everyone to get in line if they wanted

to see him. And he never, ever judged anyone for the reasons they were homeless and poor.

And with that I will close for today.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a bathroom to hide in for an hour or

so to take my shoes off and let my feet dry a little. God this is gonna hurt.


(Thought for today) – “Who could have imagined hell would be this cold?”

No guitar yet. But still hoping!


The cold goes on forever!

December 10, 2013

I don’t have access to tv or a radio so I can’t tell you what the temp is. But I guess it really doesn’t matter. cold is cold. Very very cold. After the snow stopped falling yesterday, the rain started. It would rain hard for 10 to 15 minutes then become just a little more than a drizzle for 20 minutes or so. It never stopped the entire day. As much as I would have liked to find a place to rest I know if I spend too much time in one spot the police will most likely be called and I would have even more troubles on my hands. Because of this god awful weather, my feet haven’t been dry for at least two days now. I’m wearing a sort of cloth style of sneakers so I don’t have insulation to help keep them dry. Not to mention that they both have holes in the bottom of the shoe in the exact same spot. Every time I take a step I feel the freezing cold water filling my shoes which causes me physical pain. For just a moment I think about taking my shoes off and walking barefoot. But then I think if I do that, my feet will be exposed to broken glass and other debris so best to keep them on for now no matter how freezing cold and wet my feet are. From moving around so much I find a place to sit for a little while. It’s an outside rest area for employees of a grocery store. It’s a small area but it has a roof and a picnic table with benches to sit on. A thought comes to me just as I sit down, “what if an employee comes and see’s me here?” At this point I’m to exhausted to care. I HAVE to try to rest. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes or so. I’ll take it.
Well there’s no need to say more, the rest of the day is more of the same. Freezing rain, constant cold, no food and very little sleep. At this point I’m thinking that maybe I should do something to get myself arrested. I would at least be warm in a jail cell and get my feet dry. And Maybe a bologna sandwich. God I would love a bologna sandwich right now.

My thought for today… “This is life?”

Still looking for that acoustic guitar and a place to play it. I would love to say I’m not looking for handouts but at this point? I would welcome them with open arms.